Ok so, do you have your morning coffee brewing? Why? Because, I am back from an emotional hiatus, and I’d like to talk about it over a cup.
So, how many times have you had to check on your own salvation, your own faith, because somebody has said something discouraging to you? And, even though you don’t really feel as if you’ve done anything wrong, what another person says to you, or about you, makes you feel all kinds of wrong, and all kinds of unworthy?
The perfect people: The people who manage to keep track of everything that you have done wrong, year after year, day after day, minute after minute. These are the people that will remind you very quickly of the person that you used to be, no matter what changes to your life you’ve made. They remember what you did. Oh, yeah! But, they never take into account their own imperfections, though.
The weird thing is, the human constitution, no matter how strong it may be, is always completely vulnerable to that type of foolish criticism, isn’t it? No matter how well you are doing, no matter how high in the spirit you may be flying, when you hear someone bring up who you used to be, when you feel somebody dragging you back through the mud you’ve already come out of, it spiritually brings you down.
Sip your coffee, darlin’. Because, if this situation is one that you can relate to, I’ve got a few things to tell you.
“For there is not a just man upon the earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not”
Not one person on this earth has done everything 100% right. I was sitting with a friend last evening, and she said something that made me both laugh, and think. As we talked about our pasts, and how people, our children no exception, tend to judge others concerning their pasts, she said this to me: “If we’re honest about it, women, I mean, if we are all honest with ourselves, we done all been tramps. We done let these guys get it in. A lot of us may never tell it, but that doesn’t mean that the ones that don’t tell it haven’t played it fast and loose.”
I laughed at the trueness of her statement, but to me, it was deeper than what she knew. Now, if sex is all you got from what Friend said, then this post is not for you. The honesty in her statement speaks more to a frame of mind, than that of the body. As funny as what she said to me was, the complexity of it shook me to the core.
Don’t you know that the very people talking about you right now have a closet of their own, full of skeletons? They never seem to hear those old bones rattling around in there, though. But, how can they hear their own skeletons rattling when they’re focused solely on yours? They don’t even realize that by focusing on you, and what you are doing all the time, they are essentially making what’s going on with you, more important to them than everything else, including themselves.
So, what you have to do is come to terms with your own past, and move on. Understand that people never forget. The human brain cannot unlearn anything that it has learned. Now as Christians, they should be “transformed by the renewing of” their minds, “leaning not on their own understanding”. But, you and I both know it doesn’t work like that. People are always going to judge you based on what they think they know about you. And, you have to take some of that blame if you’ve lived out loud, and sinned in places where the walls had mouths. If you get on stage right now, and perform openly on Broadway or some place else, depending on your performance, those who’ve watched you play are going to be talking about it. Great performance? They’re going to talk. Horrible performance? they are going to talk.
Now, don’t be going out saying “JFaye told me that if I was going to sin, I should sin in private.” Because, that’s not what I’m saying. God sees you when nobody else does. I am saying that if you did it, own it! Own it, why? Because when somebody brings up your past, whether you were a burglar, or liar, pimp, or tramp, you can tell them “I sure did. And, I’ve been redeemed!”
Trust me, you cannot live your life worrying about what others are going to say about you unless the plan that you have for your life is to go stone crazy. If you worry about what they’re going to say, your own voice becomes muted. If you worry about what they are going to think, your own thoughts become disorganized, and chaotic. You cannot be yourself.
It is the you of now that God wants to use. What you’ve done doesn’t matter. Your testimony does, though. What He has brought you through, the mountains he has lifted you over, that is where the enemy wants to keep you. Because, if you stay in that muddy frame of mind, if that valley becomes your home, you won’t grow anymore; you can’t get to the level of thought, of growth, of spirituality, of success, that you are meant to be on. You become stagnant. And, if the enemy gets you to a place of stagnation, of lamenting your past behaviors, then he has won.
Accept it, and move on. Be bold enough to tell those that won’t let you outlive your past, that if they cannot see a way of allowing you to walk past YOUR past, then they can stay there all by themselves. You have a future to get to. Your work here is not done, or you’d be dead and gone. Be sure enough in what God has done for you that you take control of whom you allow in your space. If you have people in your space interrupting what God is trying to do for you, you need to get rid of them. That “Negativity” demon is real. And, it will keep you depressed, keep you acting, and coming across bipolar because you are spending valuable time arguing, and explaining, and worrying, about something you couldn’t change if somebody wrote you a check for 20 million to do so.
Let the perfect people continue to think they are perfect. You can’t change them either. You’ve wasted enough time on all of that. Don’t be discouraged. I want you to be so encouraged in your spirituality that you feel the presence of God everyday. That’s what I want for you, and that is what I want for myself.
Let’s make it our business to get, and stay there.
Until our next cup;